Saying hello to grumpy energy
Body scanning is my go-to meditation technique. It’s so relaxing. Well, maybe not at first.
No matter how often I meditate, when I sit I become aware of grumpy energy in my body.
Grumpy energy is my resistance to sitting still.
Grumpy energy is the tension I feel my shoulders once I’m still.
Grumpy energy is the tightness in my chest when I try to take a deeper breath.
Grumpy energy is the conversation between my belly and my brain planning my next meal.
Grumpy energy is my mind racing about all the things I have to do!
Grumpy energy is my inner-critic piping in to say, “You’re a terrible meditator. You’re not doing this right.”
And that’s when I shut it down because that doesn’t even make sense.
Meditation isn’t about doing any particular thing. It’s about being.
Being present with my body, I taste the mystery of healing.
It’s the grumpy energy that guides me there.
Loving ourselves like we love children
Me and my grumpy energy are not so different from a parent and child.
The day before my wedding, I watched from afar my friend’s toddler go from running and laughing with excitement to screaming and crying when, smack! He tripped and fell to his knees in the hotel corridor. I winced. It looked like it hurt. It sounded like it hurt.
I would have comforted him myself but his dad quickly scooped him up and sat him on his lap and wiped his tears. In a mature tone I’d not heard used with a three year old, this dad asked his son, what happened? He didn’t say, don’t cry. You’re ok. He validated his sons experience, just as it was.
Dad confirmed all of what his son had experienced.
You were going fast! Wow yes! That was a big fall. It looked like it hurt.
I watched my friend laser focus in on his son. He held eye contact and everything outside of them stopped. They were in their own world. With 100% of his attention, my friend wanted to understand everything his boy was feeling. He gave his son pure loving presence. And instantly, the toddler stopped crying. He was all better.
When a child is crying, they need is to be seen and held.
To feel better, we are the same But we are both parent and child.
In meditation, we hold space for ourselves.
Holding space
“Search your body for grumpy energy,” my yoga teacher, Shiva Rea, said during a sunset meditation at Playa Pelada in Nosara, Costa Rica, (read about my covid experience here.)
I then began an intuitive body scan to seek out my inner gremlins…they live in me as physical tension and tightness and hide as self-doubt, judgement, and apathy.
Awareness is the meditation tool for healing. To “hold space” is to be a loving witness to whatever present, whether physical or emotional pain. This is how we dissolve suffering.
Holding space for our grumpy energy frees us into the present moment, the inherently peaceful nature of consciousness.
Try this meditation
Land of the Body is a 20 minute somatic, creative, and gentle meditation to nourish the deepest levels of your being. The body is a pathway to presence and this meditation is an invitation to come home to yourself.
This meditation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing about a sense of calm, ease, and safety in the body.
Suggestions for getting the most out of this meditation experience:
Use headphones.
Find a quiet space and remove any distractions so you can totally drop in.
Sit comfortably or lay down on your back.
Drink a glass of water when you finish. 🕊
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With so much love,
Christina
Calm your mind, deepen your breath, and open your heart in this 30 minute guided meditation class.
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